I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
