I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nicole vs. Life
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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