I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Where is the hickey?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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