Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
