Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
