Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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