I CAN MOONWALK!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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