So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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