It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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