How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
