All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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