Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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