Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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