I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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