I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
