he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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