I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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