Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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