the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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