i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.