its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.