Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor