i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
