Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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