i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
