The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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