doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
