just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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