In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
