I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize