Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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