Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize