Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
