I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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