let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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