I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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