Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
