just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
only if we run a train.
done.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
