You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
