Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
