I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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