i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
