We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fuck me I smell like cheese
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
