you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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