is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
