Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
