The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
