Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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