I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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