I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
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I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The dick lei will go down in squad history
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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