the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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