i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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