"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
