No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
