some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
