He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Two words: nipple clamps
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