Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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