please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
