in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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