I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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