Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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