oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
