worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
