come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can text with my tongue
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize